i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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