Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
