i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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