He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
