You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
