I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
