There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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