Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
only if we run a train.
done.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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