so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
