just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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