This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
