I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
he fucked my hip out of place.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
