you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
