dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
