I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Are my feet made of real feet?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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