It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
...so i touched it.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
