You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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