Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
you had me at cake vodka
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
