got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
