My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
