I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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