so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
