the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
