Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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