Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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