Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
