I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
