Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
