you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My ass is underappreciated
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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