I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
jump out the window naked night went bad
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
