she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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