I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
