real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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