why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
