I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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