You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Randomize
