My liver just broke up with me...
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize