I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
