and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
