My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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