You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
