Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
