That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
