I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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