Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
