In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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