There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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