I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize