I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
