I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Vodka?
Forever.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
