sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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