the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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