...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
being pregnant is like rehab
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
