Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
