I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
farters have to be the big spoon...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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