Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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