found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
