Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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