I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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