So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
