I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
