I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
