Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
