it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
